mama said there would be days like this

When I think that I just cant go on .... I get so lost in this thing called motherhood. It is by far the hardest task I have ever been given. I phrase it like that because I feel a job you apply for and can truly quit whenever you feel like. But being a mom well I desired to have children but it was God's design that allowed these children into my life, so therefor I feel it is the task that I have been given and as long as I am given today I need to continue the task to the best of my ability.
Having said all that today I have struggled with my task. I have given into my own tiredness and responded to my children with such harsh reaction. It seems that there are days when I can be so off and still surrender myself to what the Lord is asking of me for the sake of His children. but other days I just get so lost in selfishness that my response is purely my own strengths and it shows.
Thankfully I have learned over the years that despite these days I have hope. I can make the choice to call out to Jesus and ask for forgiveness and then in turn ask my children for forgiveness. I can only strive for being authentic with my children and others in my life. I am only human but I choose to live a life for Christ and with that comes the responsibility to often times humble myself and be real. I have never nor will I ever begin to think that I have all the answers but I will always choose to live a life that I hope will one day be deserving of the Lord to say well done...
In his and hands and grace.

another day in our house

Well as days go in the house there is never a dull moment.... yesterday my oldest son who had saved his money was able to spend it finally. He and our friends went to magic mtn. But the day ended a little early for my son. He somehow managed to mangle his face with a rail in line of one of the rides. He took out two teeth with significant chips and then planted the newly mangled teeth into his bottom lip which was worthy of two stitches. So for day we will spend most of our day at the dentist in hopes to salvage his teeth. ..... Meanwhile my younger two who are five and nine. Missed out on their swim practice and since my nine year old was already sore from not being able to go to magic mtn,. now having to take care of his older brother; he let into one of those oscar worthy sagas of how unloved he is and how unfair this day has been and he might as well throw himself on the ground and get hurt so that he can have someone show him he is loved.....
Being a mom gives way to so many avenues of expertise that I never new exsisted.... Not to mention on top of all that being a wife before all the mommy parts too. How then do we not lose our heads during a day inlife of wife and mother....
I lift up my eyes to the hills-
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of
heaven and earth.
Psalm121-1-2

So having never blogged before this is a first. Im just going to use this as a starting place for writting my thoughts for the day and life of a married mother of four. And as life goes today I had to make a tough choice and let my one son go to magic mtn. and not the other. My oldest son had saved his money to buy a pass so he was allowed to go. My younger son had no money and neither did I . so thats how the decision was made.