I have this deep unquenchable passion for parenting not because I feel like I do it so well but simply because since the birth of my first child my life has never been more changed in a moment-by-moment way.
I have laughed harder then I have ever in my life and I have cried harder too.
I have learned things about myself that I never knew existed.
I have patience that last a lifetime and then in a split second that patience’s is gone and I have anger that stirs in me a powerful scary feeling.
I guess the thing that draws me to mom issues or parenting issues is that it has been the one thing that I have been determined to never presume I have the answers to anything but always willing to ask the questions to find the best possible path and to be available to my children. I have done more soul searching since becoming a mom and find often it is me who has to do the changing and growing before I can ask it of my children.
Parenting comes in so many stages too. All of which are exhausting on there own, but you add more then one child at a different stage then look out!
I can’t ever imagine not having this task of parenting and hesitantly wait for the day that they are all grown, and have children of there own so that they might experience this expression called parenting.
I have so much to be thankful for in my life and most certainly my children are much of what I have to be thankful for.

It's all in how you look at it.

So over the past few days I have spent time pondering over the
Oh so many things that make be happy.

Rereading the list I have already posted and thinking... hmm, what if I got all those things?
All the time.
Would they bring as much joy and happiness as they do now?
Maybe, probably ...I don't know...
I have so much of what I need everyday to survive not only in the physical perspective but in the emotional and spiritual aspect too.
I am free to eat when and where I want pretty much anytime of any day.
I can call, email, text, drive over to a friends house whenever I like.
I have access to over ten bibles just in my house alone. There are too many churches in the city I live in to count. All of which I can go to freely without harm.
The abundance to what you have is beyond what you need.
So is it wrong to make a list of the things that truly bring you joy?
No.
I think it has been helpful for me in keeping my perspective on the things that I need versus what I want.
And what I want is to bring honor and glory to my savior whom I love and have come to know that He delights in fulfilling my list not just for my birthday but for my life.

Proverbs30: 7-9
"Two things I ask of you, O Lord; do not refuse me before I die:
Keep falsehood and lies far from me;
give me neither poverty nor riches,
but give me only my daily bread.
Otherwise, I may have too much and disown you and say,
"Who is the Lord?"
Or may become poor and steal, and so dishonor the name of my God.

Happy Birthday!

OK so it is 4 months and 11 days until I turn the big "40"

So I thought I would start celebrating now by sharing with everyone what makes me smile and look forward to another year older.

I have an amazing savior who loves me all the time !

My husband is hot and he works so hard and loves his family.

Those little gifts from God that I am so privileged to call my children.

A rock steady group of girls that I can call my "village peeps" and my

more then I deserve friends stretching as far as D.C. to Ill. , Co, NV,TX,El Salvador,WA., and the good old Ca. My friends are outstanding.

My savior and my family and my friends have continued to grow me and teach me so much over the years that as 40 approaches I can't wait to see what else I will savor and treasure like I have already.

I am not sure of what the future holds for me but I try hard to not dwell on that but live fully for the day that I have been given.

Loving and learning from the people that I have been blessed with and the things that I get to do.

40 is just a number but today is an opportunity to make a difference.

Here is a list of things that I cherish and enjoy

a smile

kind word

clean house

a good cup of coffee

friends

the wind

a good book

an incredible ocean

laughing with friends

crying with friends

alone time

music

my husband

trader Joe's

well really any grocery store

cooking

running

swimming

watching Luke play soccer

listening to Ryan share his knowledge

my mom

faith

Brookelynn swimming

my village peeps

babies

my family

cooking for others

hanging with Leandra

I could go on and on but my heart swells with such satisfaction in knowing that those are the things that I treasure and I have had the opportunity to enjoy all of them at some time or another.

May we all count are blessings and share some with someone else.

Everyone has birthdays I think we should not just celebrate the one day but everyday so we never forget how great a gift we have been given.

Happy Birthday!

You know it's someones birthday today.

Too many words not enough listening..

Lately I have done some reading on the power of words. I have gone through several articles, other blogs, and scripture.
I have been reminded of life lessons I have had to learn the hard way and reminded of illustrations.
Like : If you were to take a tube of tooth paste and squeeze it and have way to much come out , would you be able to put it back to the way it was?
No ,once the paste is out it is impossible to restore to its original form. So is the case with unkind inappropriate words, slander, profanity,etc.
Once it's been said, once it's out there there is no returning the victim to their original form.
What if its a nickname, a friendly banter of jokes? What if you believe the words you have chosen to speak are for the persons own good?
I'm sure there are cases where someones nickname has great comfort and joy. Or jokes among long time friends and family are acceptable.
I'm also sure that I have felt justified in the words I spoke on someones behalf, but with that said I am also that much more sure that I was wrong and I was hurtful and needed to seek much forgiveness.
So whats a person to do when the words we speak or think can be painful ,taken the wrong way or just left out there to be dissected?
The world shows us that we can justify our choice of words based on, what the situation was when we spoke the words, or spin it to show it was taken out of context or provoked by the other person.
How sad.
I struggle with what words to speak daily, and with the world working against me I fear even more for my kids and what must go through there minds on whats right and whats wrong.
Everyone can find justification for the things they say; bad day, headache, just got yelled at by some else, whatever we want I'm sure we could use it to get out of the truth and the truth is that we have to be responsible for the things we say.
The good the bad and the ugly.
We have a place to go for examples of how we can attain words worthy to be heard.
Where the WORD is true and just and powerful enough to change this spirit of mine.
I hope today I am given the chance to listen more and speak less.
The chance to encourage and lift up the people in my life.

Eph:4:29
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

First days and jitters.

I watched my children run to the gate to find there names and see their teacher's name.
One returned with satisfaction the other returned not knowing what the papers said.
She needed my help to read and find her name.
With the last name of Wesselhoff it was easy, go to the end of the lists and there you are.
I knew that my oldest child was a theater major but little did I know that she had been
secretly training her little sister.
Because without warning she broke out into the most dramatic and sorrowful rant about her teacher and friends or lack there of.
And just when I thought we would need some serious intervention it was over.
The first day of school came and went and well, it came and went without so much as hiccup of what was thought to be the worst thing that has ever happen to her.
So now we are back to the day in and day out of schedules ,routines and homework assignments.
The long days of who is and who isn't friends or dating anymore.
Where are the favorite shoes, shirts, socks, or possibly underwear.
The whys , the how comes and that is so not fair.
Bedtimes, wake up times, and definitely shower time...
The ever popular " no I don't have any homework" " oh really ?" argument.
Packing lunches, remembering to brush their teeth's, hair and whatever else they might need to do before they leave.
Finding a place to do the homework that they don't have: even though they all have their own desks.
Not to mention, the proverbial, laundry, cleaning, Dr. apt., dentist apt. planning dinner, pick ups, drop offs, go to that practice, to that friends house, bible study and what nots of the day in the life of moms and kids alike across the world.
So when you find yourself looking for the one shoe, the perfect hair bow, even the backpack , take a deep breath and no that your not alone.
Somewhere out there someone else is also looking.

Summer time!

As

summer goes around this old house we find ourselves as parents enjoy the accomplishments of our children.

All four successfully completed the first year of; college, Jr high, fourth grade and kindergarten.

All four are looking forward to the upcoming wedding of their aunt in Chicago.

The college girl traveled to and from New York successfully. She attended a conference, saw the sights, and tasted some treats.

Our Jr. Higher played on a tournament soccer team and played several rounds of soccer. Thankfully finishing just in time before the summer heat wave took over.

The last two are in over the heads in a good way with the local swim team. They have competed in two swim meets already and both have already exceeded last years records for themselves.

As far as the old man and myself we sit up at night and share some good laughs, some deep sighs of relief and many many praises for all the blessings the Lord has granted us for the day He gave us.

May we all cherish our times this summer and make the most of what God has given us.

Happy Summer!

And all the bricks came tumbling down.

This afternoon I was doing some reading in one of the many books I am working on and
I came across a section on humility.
I have heard the word on a regular basis for several years now, but for some reason today I feel my eyes were wide open to see it from a new perspective.
How do I practice humility in my house?
With my husband, my children, my friends and others I come across?
Do I even practice humility?
So I spent the rest of the afternoon doing some research on my heart.
And I started to wonder what my house, my home would look like if humility was really practiced.
After much reading and searching it seems to me that the key to all relationships is humility.
In 1 Peter 5:5-6 we see that god opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.
And in Job scripture honors him as a perfect and upright man but Job sees himself so differently in Job 42:6 Therefore I despise myself and repent in dust and ashes.
In Isaiah we learn he was a great prophet of the Lord and yet when in the Lords presence his response was as such Isaiah6:5 “woe to me!” I cried “ I am ruined For I am a man of unclean lips and I live among people of unclean lips and my eyes have seen the King.
Daniel was admired for his courage and convictions and his dedication to God but here too his response was on his face. Daniel 10:8-9
I could go on and on with so many examples of godly men and women in the bible whose response you would not think or expect to be that of such profound humility, but there they are clear and concise.
So why is it then today that I was so moved by what seems to be such an obvious concept yet so few times it is practiced.
I don’t know.
All I know is that I need to learn more about what it means to love humility as a great character trait and not as something I need to add to a check list of duties.
I will end with one of my favorite verses.
Micah 6:8 He has showed you , O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you ? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly, with your God.

Loss and life.

How do we explain loss and pain and tragedy to our children?

This morning I read an article about Steven Curtis Chapman and how his little girl was killed by a tragic accident and without realizing it I had gasped out loud.

Which lead to my youngest asking "What Mommy what happen?" I had to give a short answer to her question but yet all the same it was enough to change her today.

Then on the way to school we saw a dead cat, which pales in comparison to a loss of a child but none the less holds pain.

Then I read about the growing number of deaths in China, and the inhumane behavior in Myanmar. There is pain and loss all around us.

Do we spare our children from it or do we share and let them in to the depravity of the world?

Somethings are not meant for young hearts to learn yet. It's the lesson of protecting the innocent from things that are not in there realm to fix or take on.

So then where do I go with the sadness that has filled my young ones heart.

She said to me as we left the car to walk to her class " Mommy why did I have to hear all this dying this morning?"

I gave her a hug and a kiss and told I would do my best to look for the answer while she was at school.

My thoughts have raced all over the place with this one because honestly I can not imagine losing a child much less the way in which the Chapman families occurred.

Death and pain demand so much of our attention that at least for me I don't care to give it.

But it's there it's real and we all go through it.

So what will I say this afternoon, I'm not sure.

"Be very careful, then, how you live- not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil.
Ephesians 5:15-16

Original post date5/22/08

The greatness of God!

The greatness of God! How would you or could you ever describe it. I was reading a blog that I frequent and then also in my bible and I found some amazing verses that give ample descriptions into the greatness of God. Not that I don’t think that the bible throughout is full of God’s greatness. It is just sometimes I can come across a verse or a new book or in this case a blog entry and be inspired and excited to share more of God and His greatness.
In the book of Job we read about so much heartache and tragedy the Job goes through, but we also learn how he responds to all of it. Job maintains his integrity throughout.
In chapter 5 verse 9-10 Job writes about rain and places it in the category of miracles.
It is rain, what’s the big deal. Well in this blog entry I read the writer breaks down truly the making of rain and all that in tales before it is actually released and made to rain. Here is a little bit from that blog entry.

(Water will come out of the clear blue sky? Well, not exactly. Water will have to be carried in the sky from the Mediterranean Sea, over several hundred miles and then be poured out from the sky onto the fields. Carried? How much does it weigh? Well, if one inch of rain falls on one square mile of farmland during the night, that would be 27,878,400 cubic feet of water, which is 206,300,160 gallons, which is ,650,501,280 pounds of water. That's heavy. So how does it get up in the sky and stay up there if it's so heavy? Well, it gets up there by evaporation. Really? That's a nice word. What's it mean? It means that the water sort of stops being water for a while so it can go up and not down. I see. Then how does it get down? Well, condensation happens. What's that? The water starts becoming water again by gathering around little dust particles between .00001 and .0001 centimeters wide. That's small. What about the salt? Salt? Yes, the Mediterranean Sea is salt water. That would kill the crops. What about the salt? Well, the salt has to be taken out. Oh. So the sky picks up a billion pounds of water from the sea and takes out the salt and then carries it for three hundred miles and then dumps it on the farm? Well it doesn't dump it. If it dumped a billion pounds of water on the farm, the wheat would be crushed. So the sky dribbles the billion pounds water down in little drops. And they have to be big enough to fall for one mile or so without evaporating, and small enough to keep from crushing the wheat stalks. How do all these microscopic specks of water that weigh a billion pounds get heavy enough to fall (if that's the way to ask the question)? Well, it's called coalescence. What's that? It means the specks of water start bumping into each other and join up and get bigger. And when they are big enough, they fall. Just like that? Well, not exactly, because they would just bounce off each other instead of joining up, if there were no electric field present. ) www.desiringgod.org

See what I mean something’s we see as just rain but really they are so much more then just rain. Next time it rains stand outside and watch a miracle happen.

Happy Mother's Day.

Today I woke up with a kink in my back that doesn't allow me turn all the way to the left or the right.
Bending down to pick something up or even pour a simple glass of juice for breakfast sends a shooting pain up my neck and down my back and tears out the side of my eyes.
But did that stop me from doing what needed to be done..
No.
What needs to be done in a day of mom is no match for a silly little kink...
Alarm sounds at 6am.
Coffee percolates by 6:15am
The first child awakes at 6:30am straggles to the kitchen and pours the routine bowl of cereal.
Leaving a trail of milk around the bowl with several missed placed pieces of cereal across the floor.
While that child takes a shower it leaves just enough time to lay out the two options of clothing for the youngest child which well inevitably be ignored and an entirely new outfit(barely matching) will be worn.
Now that it is 7am the rest of the motley crew have arose to the morning routine, one child barely makes it to the kitchen,but manages to mustard up his typical sunny disposition. The youngest can't seem to find the kitchen because of how distracted she is by her oldest brother and his strange antics.
Blissfully by 7:20am the teenager as checked his hair, his outfit and grabbed his barely together back pack and has vacated the premises.
With two left and an ever pressing engagement with their school we begin the fast passed ever daunting task of positive motivation.....
Please hurry up.
Have you brushed your teeth sweeties?
What do you want in your lunch honey?
Did you want a snack today baby?
Hurry up!
Where are you shoes kiddo?
Hurry up!!!
Your teeth.
your shoes....
lunch, whats for lunch?!!!!
Are you kidding, what are you doing ,why would you do that, come on, what is taking you so long,
oh my gosh how hard is it to answer me......
See,, positive motivation works all the time
7:50am and we are out the door.
Whew, they all made it.
Now I can sit and have one lukewarm cup of coffee and start again,
One load of laundry started, the other removed from the dryer,
Sweep one kitchen floor and two bathrooms.
Mop all three rooms.
Check on one package being shipped from Colorado.
Change sheets on beds.
Place that load in the wash while putting the other in the dryer now.
Vacuum, dust, and start to defrost whats for dinner.
What is for dinner?
Still that ever pressing kink in the back hasn't stopped either.
By now I can pick up the youngest, listen to her tell of her day, complain of her wrist pain
and figure out what she wants for lunch.
Start her homework never minding the fact that she has two whole draws full of pencils and crayons but she can't seem to find not one, one measly little pencil for her work. So now she breaks down into how this is the worst day of her life. No one cares for her and she can't believe how mean I am.
After some consoling we move on and all is well.
By 2pm the fun really begins we retrieved the teenager and return to the home front.
There are several rounds of crazy antics and even more positive motivation going on.
Pleeease son pleeeease be an example and do your homework.
Thank you.
Son, what are you doing? That doesn't look like homework.
Please let go of your sister... no she isn't having any fun.
When she says no she means it.
Now look what you did.
Oh good you're doing your homework.
Please leave your brother alone.
Hey, I said leave him alone.
OK you two that's it go to your rooms.
One leaves the room in tears and slamming doors, the other leaves the house with attitude and has no idea that the door is locked behind him...
Few minutes later the youngest announces she is sorry for bothering her brother and wants to join him outside.
To which I proclaim nope we have to go and get your other brother from school now.
3pm and we all have snack and a brief moment of solitude.
Followed by ...
you guessed it positive motivation.
What homework do you have?
Please leave her alone.
Get off the computer.
No, you are not playing the Wii.
Get your homework done then you can go outside or play on the computer.
And depending on the day, and
in between homework, more picking up, refereeing, comforting feelings , skinned knees and elbows, making dinner, we are either getting soccer stuff ,swim stuff, or bible study stuff together. Not to mention the probability of having someone need to see a doctor, dentist or get a pair of glasses adjusted.
Hopefully by 7:30pm I'm cleaning dishes, folding more laundry, finishing up bath time and reading one bedtime story and finally maybe sitting down.
This day includes just a few of what a day in the life of this mom may do but not necessarily all of what really goes on.
To all you moms out there my hats are off to you.
We sleep with one eye open.
We eat things that started off hot but are no longer.
We have cleaned up and held things in our hands that were never meant to be.
We coach, we train, we comfort and scold, we hope, we love, and we laugh just a little
because no matter how long, how hard or how out of this world our days may be we wouldn't trade them for anything.
Mom its the sweetest name that holds so much meaning to everything.
Happy Mother's Day.
Oh yes and that kink it's still there and like all kinks in a mothers life it just gets added to all the other badges we so proudly wear.

How many hats do you wear and which one looks best on you?

I have been married and parenting for many many many years, and I have always cringed at the expression " we wear many hats", why you might ask?

Well simply because I feel that I don't ever wear any of them well. Except one......

So this blog is an ode' to my hat of nurse maid....

For some very odd reason I wear this one very well and

Oh so very often....

These pictures represent.....

One, set of twelve stitches to the forehead

One, double stitched split lip plus two very chipped teeth

One, dislocated finger after one amazing dive as goalie.

Yes he stopped the goal....

One, broken collar bone....oops correction one collar bone

broke twice...also during soccer..

and one set of twenty stitches to the inner thigh after taking the

quick route out of the neighbors tree..

I have to admit this all seems daunting,

but, well who am I kidding it is extremely daunting.

But I praise God through it all...

He as protected, spared, healed,watched out for, and truly pushed out of

the way so many other times that this is why I as nurse maid to

my family can praise Him and thank Him for all that He does.

But if any of you have any extra bubble wrap.......

Ps.. pictures represent April 07' to April 08'

To Doubt or not to Doubt?

For some of you you may have wondered where I have been, for others maybe not so much.
I have had writers block wrapped up with a whole lot of doubt.
Doubt is a precarious little fellow.
It can ruin any plan, any day and wipe out any family.
So what exactly is doubt, in the good old Webster it states: to be uncertain about; questionable or unlikely. to distrust. to fear
When you think about it doubt/fear grips just about all of us at any given moment and it strikes without warning.
Or so you think?
Think about these statements: You cant really think that's going to work?,What were you thinking when you said that? Why would you start that? Why wasn't I included? You're the worst parent ever, Or just the feelings of being misunderstood by family or friends so you stay quiet.
Doubt comes in all shapes and sizes. It is the very thing that goes against everything you know to be right and true.
I think for me it's my silent giant always waiting for its opportunity to strike in me, in my children, my marriage, parenting, friendships and how I choose to spend my time.
I have been wrestling with doubt my whole life.
So I have come up with little weapons of combating my giant.
I have taken charge of what goes into my mind and heart by what I read, watch and listen to.
I have found that what I read probably makes the biggest difference in battling the little lies that storm my mind.
Deuteronomy 11:18:Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads.
Next is what I listen to.
I am an avid music person and could really listen to just about anything, rock and roll, hip hop, classical you name it I could jam with it. But over the years I realized that just because I think I am able to tune out and not respond to what the lyrics are saying I am truly not able to keep all the lies from infiltrating my mind and neither are others around me.
So along with changing the music habit I have changed the T.V. habit too. I have to say that more than the majority of music I listen to is christian inspired. Which has lent itself to more music on and less T.V.
One of my favorite quotes lately is this
"Doing hard things is your best life. It's not your easiest but its your best life. It's a life full of adventure, excitement and fulfillment because its what God made you to do for His Glory"(Alex Harris)
Changing the way you respond to the doubt in your life will be hard it will take discipline, but it will be well worth every effort you make against the doubt in your life!
1 Samuel17:40 Then he took his staff in his hand,chose five smooth stones from the stream, put them in the pouch of his Shepherd's bag and, with his sling in his hand, approached the Philistine.
We all have our slings but the question is two fold what will you put in your sling to take down your giant and will you use it?

What happens when we move?

I have been plagued with the daily grind of life. It has stopped me from writing and feeling like writing.
But then I read and find myself building up steam to write and have thoughts other then
what time do I have to this that and the other things in life.
I recently have read articles regarding moving forward. In one of the articles the writer quotes a man named Thomas Huxley saying "The rung of a ladder was never meant to rest upon, but only to hold a man's foot long enough to enable him to put the other one somewhat higher."
If there is one thing I have learned in these last few years is that we truly need to keep moving forward.
Whether it is in the hard times of life or the restful times.
If we sit back and wait for life to accommodate us then we will miss out in what life is doing.
The Lord is always moving.
It is up to us to move forward with Him , in search of Him and then we can know where to serve Him.
Take a leap of faith and move today.
You will be amazed and what is already going on around you.